Second Attempt at University

Back in 2013 I got into University of Glasgow. A pretty proud moment for myself and to my mum and dad. I could tell they were pretty pleased with the prospect of me going to university. I was excited. Looking forward to my subjects which were psychology, classics and comparative literature. I had a couple of friends from my college class at the uni with me and I met some cool people in my new classes. The building was gorgeous and the classes were fun and interesting. What I did not take into account was I had so much pressure and other things overwhelming me that I didn't realise that starting uni would be the time that it would all come bubbling up to the surface.

I was floundering under coursework and all I wanted to do was stay in bed. I lost a best friend because I was trying so hard to stay on top of everything and not paying them enough attention. There was just so much going on with me. There was one day in particular I remember now when I was on the subway on my way home. I saw a girl sitting across from me. She was sitting there crying but trying to hide the fact. I wanted to join her. I wanted to burst out crying right there and then. Instead, I waited till I got home. I just couldn't cope and at the time I was afraid to admit this. Scared of failing so I thought if I leave I'm technically not failing. So I left. Decided to take time to look after myself. And that is exactly what I did do.

Eventually in 2015 I went back to college to gain my HNC and HND in Social Sciences and even though I had some struggles I had an amazing time doing these courses. However applying for university again was scary. Out of the five universities I applied for only one had accepted me. My last resort option. It knocked my confidence and made me question what the point even was on completing my college course. I however decided to just get on with it and do the best I could. The grades I got ended up being better than some of the entry requirements to universities that knocked me back. This made me feel a bit angry in a way.

I accepted the offer from the only one that gave me an offer. It means I'll have a lot of travelling which is not something I am looking forward to as I can't use that time wisely like studying because reading whilst on transport makes me feel sick. I'm not even all that excited about starting but it is only for 2 years so I feel like I can make it through 2 years and do what I need to do. I can then think about postgraduate courses and maybe I'll be able to attend a uni that is a little closer to home. Seeing those who I ended college with in 2013 and seeing them all graduate this year did make me feel a little sad that I could have been there with them but I am also very happy for them. Part of me wishes that I could have been there with them. But sometimes your path goes off on turns and tangents and you need to do what's best for you.

Just because you drop out doesn't mean you have failed. Everyone has to take their own pace when it comes to this kind of thing. You need to look after yourself and it's not always a bad thing. It's the journey not the destination.

Wish me luck. :) How was your experience at uni? Did you leave uni? Are you glad you did or regret it?  Let me know in the comments.

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