How are you doing today? I want to talk about psoriasis again and how the impacts of Covid-19 and lockdown has impacted my skin. If you had told me this time last year that we were just months away from a pandemic and our lives would be completely different I'd probably be in disbelief. But when I watched what happened in China, then Italy and the rest of the world including where I am in the UK it became all too realistic and the consequences are a bit worrying. Being stuck at home has had it's ups and downs for me and I'm sure many people feel the same. I also understand how bad these consequences are such as redundancy, getting ill, or losing loved ones. My psoriasis isn't exactly on a list of priorities right now but it's good to talk about it. So, here are some thoughts or more like situations and realisations I've had through these past few months.
Number 1
I kind of thought with all this time at home I would have more time to keep to a strict skincare regime. Ohhh boy was I wrong about that. There would be times where I'd have a good couple of weeks keeping up with it and then I'd go days of just not bothering. I think that was partly down to mental health where some days I just wanted my skin to be better and other days where it was the last thing on my list to care about. I also think the moisturiser that I was using from the doctor started to make my skin worse. One of the joys of psoriasis, it's trial and error and even when something works at first it can stop working further down the line. I stopped using it and just used my Body Shop coconut moisturiser and my skin has massively improved.
Number 2
With the weather getting better and that we were still allowed to go out for daily exercise and plus I have a dog so he needs walked a few times a day I thought "hey, the sun will help" yet it didn't help at all. The sun normally does help but I guess the stress and anxiety of what was going on around us outweighed the benefits. Also with the sun comes an awful lot of heat which I hate. Autumn for life. Heat means clothes stick, rub and just irritate the living days out of my skin and it also means a lack of sleep which can also trigger a flare. Seriously, I can not wait for the cooler weather to get here.
Number 3
As I wasn't going anywhere I thought it doesn't matter what shampoo or conditioner I use just now because nobody will really be seeing me or my hair. I bought some of Tesco's own cheaper shampoo and conditioner forgetting why I stopped using some brands in the past. My scalp was not thankful for the switch to cheaper brands at all. If my hair isn't being looked after then neither is my scalp. I was wondering for weeks why my scalp which hadn't been this bad in 10 years was all of a sudden flaring up so bad. I realised and quickly changed what I was using and my scalp started to heal. Still has a bit to go but it's better than what it was. I nearly cried a couple of times with how sore my hairline had become.
Number 4
With a pandemic comes new protocols and behaviour to try and keep not just ourselves safe but those around us too. Washing hands. This was more at the start before places started closing. The massive emphasis that was put on washing our hands. My hands were a mess. Red all over and just sore that I didn't want anything touching the back of my hands for a while. Thankfully my hands are no longer in that state but I am definitely worried that now everything has opened again and using some shops hand sanitisers are a bit too harsh for sensitive skin.
Here are some articles I came across discussing the subject of psoriasis during covid and the third link is just a great wee resource for the psoriasis community.
Do you have psoriasis? Has lockdown and Covid-19 made an impact on your skin? What have you found that has helped or worsened it? Just remember that on top of life itself which can be tough we are living in such an unpredictable and crazy time and if you're psoriasis is flaring then don't be too hard on yourself. I know sometimes there's days where we can get down about it but it's normal. Anyways thanks for reading. :)
Pictures used are from Unsplash
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I haven't read a book for my own enjoyment since I started university. Reading books and articles for studying purposes or essay writing purposes kind of took the enjoyment away for a while. Until coronavirus hit us and I had a lot of time on my hands. I then started watching a lot of true crime videos on Youtube and a lot of documentaries which then lead me into looking for books that I might find interesting. First one I came across was Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery by Robert Kolker.
The Book: Lost Girls: An Unsolved American Mystery
The Author: Robert Kolker
Summary: Robert Kolker is an investigative journalist who dives into the investigation of the unsolved murders of five women. Taking into the consideration of the lives the women lead as escorts using craigslist to advertise their business but it also takes into account the lives they had before as children, as teenagers even going into detail about their families before they were born and then the aftermath of the girls being found and the family and friends who are left with nothing but memories and a pursuit to get the justice the girls deserved.
"There is more than one thing to know about a person. We all contain multitudes; we all are good and bad, wise and foolish, noble and self-deating".
Review: The book wasn't what I was expecting going in. It doesn't dive into the hunt for an unknown serial killer. There are no twists and turns. What Robert did in his book was give the women life. The stories of their childhood, the stories of their escort days, their struggles and their emotions and then the aftermath when their families came together to find out what happened to them. Each women was their own individual, they had their own personality and their own stories. The victims are the important ones, not the murderer.
The book flows well, each woman having her own section therefore it's easy to remember who Kolker is talking about. Things do get a little muddier once the bodies are found and family members and members of the intriguing private community that is Oak Beach (next to where the bodies were found) come into play with their theories and speculation of who the murder may be and their own little dramas between themselves, which I feel makes you feel a bit lost in the events at times but some people do come across as really shady.
If you are into true crime then this is a must read in my opinion. It's different as it doesn't focus on the killer, or too much on the police investigation but on the girls who were murdered. To give girls who are often not cared about because if their job as an escort a voice and to humanise them. Kolker done a great job on that front. I felt like I started to know them and that at often times felt sorry for them. That maybe they had no choice but to do what they were doing. It's a grim account no doubt about that but I do no regret reading it at all.
The investigation is still very much ongoing and one day I hope they find out who did this. I also hope there is a lesson to be learned that it doesn't matter whether it's an escort that's murdered or not. They still matter. "A missing girl is missing only to the people who notice".
How Do I Rate It?: ★★★½
Have you read Lost Girls? What do you think? Or do you fancy reading it? Are there any books like this you might want to recommend? Let me know and thanks for reading.
Thought I would do a little Q&A for a little return. It's been a very long time since I have been on this blog but I have spent a few days giving it a fresh new look, organising it and having it a way that I like it. So thanks for checking it out and if you want to know some random stuff then check out the questions below and if you fancy doing it yourself go on. :)
1. What’s your favourite candle scent?
I love citrus scents so much, I also have this chocolate fudge cake candle that I light on rare occasions. Sometimes you just don't want to light a candle because it smells so good and you want to keep it forever.
2. What female celebrity do you wish was your sister?
Sue Perkins, I love that lady so much. She's hilarious but also just interesting. Maybe Margot Robbie?
3. What male celebrity do you wish was your brother?
Louis Theroux. He would be interesting to have conversations with I think.
4. How old do you think you’ll be when you get married?
I'm not sure if I will get married. I'm quite happy with the way things are but that might change I guess. Maybe late 30's.
5. Do you know a hoarder?
Do I know a hoarder? Ha. Oh dear that would be me... to an extent. I genuinely have a fear that I will turn into one because I do hold onto things.
6. Can you do the splits?
No. I definitely can't. Not anymore anyway.
7. How old were you when you first learned how to ride a bike?
It took me quite a while to be able to ride a bike. I think I was about 9 or 10. Then it was difficult to get me off the thing for about 4-5 years.
8. How many oceans have you swam in?
2? 3? I don't even know.
9. How many countries have you visited?
5 Countries, 2 Islands, and passed through 3 countries.
10. Is anyone in your family in the army?
Nah, my dad had to do conscription when he was younger but that's it.
11. What would you name your daughter if you had one?
Megan or Esme Louise.
12. What would you name your son if you had one?
Logan or Ryan.
13. What’s the worst grade you ever got on a test?
Ehm. Dunno. I done really badly on a science test once. The teacher also made me feel bad about it in front of everyone, and because I was going through a rough time health wise and my parent's separation he realised that he did a really shitty thing and apologised the next day.
14. What was your favourite TV show as a kid?
Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Rugrats.
15. What did you dress up for Halloween as when you were 8?
I can't remember, probably a witch. That was always my go to.
16. Have you read any of the Harry Potter, Hunger Games or Twilight series?
I've read them all.
17. Would you rather have an American accent or a British one?
I have a British (Scottish-slightly Glaswegian) accent and I quite like it actually. Would like to know how I would sound with an American accent. Perhaps a New York or Boston one.
18. Did your mother go to university?
Nope.
19. Are your grandparents still married?
Both sets of my grandparents are gone. My mum's parents were together but my dad's were separated.
20. Have you ever taken karate lessons?
Nope.
21. Do you know who Kermit the Frog is?
Who?
22. What was the first amusement park you went to?
Ehm... Louden Castle... that's the first one I remember anyway.
23. What language besides your native language would you like to be fluent in?
Russian, Italian and Japanese. I did try learning Russian for a little while. Very difficult.
24. Do you spell the colour as grey or gray?
Grey.
25. Is your father bald?
Nah he's not. His hair is maybe a little thin and white but he is like 82.
26. Do you know any triplets?
I do actually. Well I know of triplets that went to my high school.
27. Do you prefer Titanic or The Notebook?
Ahhhh! I can't choose. The Notebook.
28. Have you ever had Indian food?
I'm Scottish, it's like a right of passage. I used to be really fussy about Indian food as I'm not great with spicy food but I have found my favourite dish. Can never go wrong with a Chicken Bhoona.
29. What’s the name of your favourite restaurant?
Paessano and Nippon Kitchen. I can't wait to go to all my favourite places when it's finally safe to go.
30. Have you ever been to Nandos?
Yes. It took me ages before I actually went and I absolutely love it now. I'm now in the mood for a Nandos.
31. Do you belong to any warehouse stores? (Costco, Bookers, etc)
Nope.
32. What would your parents have named you if you were the opposite gender?
Dunno, but my mum did say she liked the name Christopher. Funnily enough that is the name of my SO.
33. If you have a nickname, what is it?
Suzie, Suze, Marshie, Smurf.
34. Who is your favourite person in the world?
I have a few favourites.
35. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?
The city. The countryside is too out of the way of everything whereas the city places are easy to get to and are still open fairly late at night.
36. Can you whistle?
A little.
37. Do you sleep with a night-light?
Hell no, it has to be like pitch black for me to be able to get to sleep I hate light unless I fall asleep with the tv on but even then I will wake up and switch it off.
38. Do you eat breakfast every morning?
Nope. I usually feel sick if I eat too early in the morning.
39. What medical conditions do you have?
I have a skin condition called psoriasis. IBS and god knows what else that hasn't been diagnosed.
40. How many times have you been to Hospital?
Few times as a visitor, once when I was about 18 months old when my finger got caught in the door, and then a couple of years ago when I had bad stomach pain which I then had to return for tests. Still don't know what that was but the pain still comes back every now and again.
41. Have you ever seen Finding Nemo?
Yeah I actually remember going to see it in the cinema with my high school best friend.
42. Where do you buy your jeans?
Primark or New Look.
43. What was the last compliment you got?
That my brownies were yummy.
44. Do you remember your dreams in the morning?
Sometimes.
45. What flavour tea do you enjoy?
I'm not a fan of flavoured tea to be honest, just regular tea for me.
46. How many pairs of shoes do you currently own?
I did have quite a lot, but then we got a dog and he ruined 90% of them so, about 6 pairs now.
47. What religion will you raise your children to practice?
I wouldn't raise my child under a religion. I would let them decide when they understand what religion is and if they want to or not.
48. How old were you when you found out Santa wasn’t real?
About 8 or 9.
49. Why do you have a blog?
I wanted to keep my writing up to a quality level in between college and starting uni and as I enjoyed writing I thought it would be a great idea. Plus the community most of the time is very supportive. It's good for finding people you can relate to.
50. Name five of your favourite albums ever?
Hmmm.
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
Hmmm.
Rumours by Fleetwood Mac
Woodland by The Paper Kites
After Laughter by Paramore
Power - Twin Atlantic
Night Visions by Imagine Dragons
Thanks for taking the time to read.
After Laughter by Paramore
Power - Twin Atlantic
Night Visions by Imagine Dragons
Thanks for taking the time to read.
Anxiety is not something I really talk about to anyone whether it's online or to those who I regard as close. It's also not something I have been diagnosed with by a medical professional however it is something I am very aware of and have definitely had since at least high school maybe even beyond that. Sometimes I do think that I should go and talk to the doctor about it as recently is has been something that is somewhat getting in the way of things.
How it Manifests
When my anxiety surfaces it can show it's annoying face in many different ways. It depends on specific situations. Sometimes my stomach will become sore and cramp like along with my temperature raising to the point I sometimes sweat, will sometimes feel sick and become dizzy as my heart rate increases and my breathing gets faster. It's not fun and it probably happens more often than I care to admit. Sometimes I can ignore it and push through it then there's times not so much.
Recently
Sometimes my anxiety forces me to do things because I then get anxiety about the what if I don't do it. This can sometimes be a good thing, I mean I'd rather be able to do things without that thought process and the feelings that come with it. I think it is quite a multi-layered process really. However, recently the anxiety has stopped me from doing things. For one, there was a day I was supposed to be in uni and instead of getting the train to uni I got the train to somewhere else. I walked around for a bit, got myself new PJ's, went for another walk, got myself some coffee and then got the train back home. Perhaps I needed it but running away is not the best answer. During this, intrusive thoughts were bothering me for example I did think "what if I just don't go back". Thankfully, I have plenty to go back home to. I don't have an unhappy life, I'm not unhappy.
It was just a blip. A blip of many blips. It was definitely like one of those bugs you get in games. Something that just wasn't working the way it was supposed to. Someone was pressing the left button but for some reason my character was going the other way.
There was another day where I was meant to go to an event on migration held by my uni. I was looking forward to it a lot... until the last couple of days beforehand. On the day I couldn't bring myself to go and I hate that it was like this. I cancelled my ticket so it wouldn't go to waste (I hope it didn't, it sounds like it was an interesting event). I do kick myself a little bit but hey oh.
What now?
I honestly don't know. I would like to be able to go to someone and talk. Medication is also not out of the question for me. I was put on beta-blockers for migraines for a short period 4 years ago and the anxiety didn't disappear but it was easier to manage and some of the symptoms were lessened which was a great feeling. Asking for help however is not easy which is a bit of a catch 22.
Thank you so much for reading this. If you could relate let me know or know anyone who goes through this. If you just want to chat you can let me know, or find me on social media.
It's been three months since I last published a blog. Wow! Certainly let my blogging slip and decline that's for sure. But there's a few reasons as to why. Life just sort of got in the way. I had quite a few drafts that I could have posted but I haven't even came on to my blog since September. So what's been going on?
I Moved Out
So the main one is that I moved. It was a pretty big deal as this is the first time I've ever moved from my mum's. Exciting times as Chris and I finally bought our first home together and that has taken up quite a bit of my time and I'm trying to figure out how to organise everything time wise. There was the moving in part which took a few days and then setting everything up. Hopefully in the new year we will start decorating our home to how we want it to be. Everything is brown. Which is ok... if it wasn't every room. I am loving that we have our own space now though.
University
Another reason that I have been away for a bit is down to university. This is my last year so I have quite a bit of work to do. I still currently have an exam to study for and a 3,000 word case study to work on along with my dissertation. So right now I am probably using this as a form of procrastination really.
Anxiety
I don't talk a lot about my anxiety online or to those who are close to me but over the last couple of months I have really quite struggled with my anxiety which is possibly another reason that has kept me away and I would like to do a stand alone blog post soon to talk about my anxiety. It is a major reason why I have not posted recently though as I have felt my energy absolutely low and sometimes we need to take a break from things when it is possible to do so.
Family
As I have moved out I have been making a bit more effort to spend time with my family. My mum and dad are very important to me and I enjoy spending time with them so the free time I do get when I'm not doing uni work, looking after our home, or spending time with Chris I like to spend it with family. So most of my free time is being used up that. Also since my niece and nephew moved with their mum I only get to see them every so often so try to make time for them too.
It's not a bad thing when you don't blog for long periods of time. It happens. Hopefully I'm getting my energy back and will be a bit more regular with posts but I'm not going to be too hard on myself.
Have you ever had a period where your blogging dipped? How do you get back into it?
Thanks for reading. :)
A few years ago I went on a short trip to Italy. It's a place I had always wanted to go to and finally getting to go was amazing but it just didn't last long enough. It was December 2014 and we spent a night in Genova and a couple of days in Rome. The trip is something I will never forget but I would love to go back and if I ever do hopefully it would be with some better company and for a bit longer. Even though we were there in December to us it was still pleasantly warm during the day so it's definitely not a bad time of year to go to Rome.
Genova
Flying towards this beautiful part of Italy was something else. You fly over some amazing hills and above the sea which is a breathtaking sight. Our hotel was situated near the sea but was still a coach ride away from the airport. There were lots of little alley ways we had to venture through to find it. Which is all part of the fun. Found somewhere to get some food and then we were off to watch a performance of Jesus Christ Superstar which had two of the original cast members. One being Ted Neeley who played Jesus Christ. I mean WOW! That's not something you are going to get to see everyday. We also got to meet him afterwards and he was such a lovely guy. Back to the hotel as we had a flight the next morning to take us to Rome.
Rome
So. This was my favourite part of the trip. Rome was at the top of my list of travel destinations. It kind of still is. I couldn't get enough. I don't know what it is. The history, the food, the stunning buildings and possibly through the obsession of playing Assassin's Creed. We had to get a train into the city centre. As soon as we got off the train we wanted to see as much as we possibly could. First things first. The Colosseum of course although on our way to that we came across a Basilica which was free to go into. It was so impressive. I'm not religious at all but still appreciate the beauty and that people are passionate about it. The Colosseum was amazing though and we decided to pay to get inside although the price wasn't too extravagant and definitely worth it.
We definitely did get a lot done in such a short space of time. We went to this fantastic little restaurant and I wish I could remember the name of it as the food was the best we had the whole trip.
We headed towards this massive building we could see from a distance. Turns out it's a monument known as Altare della Patria. The Trevi Fountain I believe was not far from here so we headed in that direction to find that it was under construction which was heavily disappointing. However they had a walkway over where the water would be so we were given a chance to have a close up look at the fountain which is kind of cool. This is one of the main reasons I would love to go back. To see it in it's full glory. From there we watched a ceremony and headed for coffee near Piazza del Popolo which should be on everyone's list.
We headed towards this massive building we could see from a distance. Turns out it's a monument known as Altare della Patria. The Trevi Fountain I believe was not far from here so we headed in that direction to find that it was under construction which was heavily disappointing. However they had a walkway over where the water would be so we were given a chance to have a close up look at the fountain which is kind of cool. This is one of the main reasons I would love to go back. To see it in it's full glory. From there we watched a ceremony and headed for coffee near Piazza del Popolo which should be on everyone's list.
So we were in Rome for a reason. We were there to see Ludovico Einaudi in concert. Not my kind of music but again it's something I could appreciate.
We got lost trying to get our apartment afterwards but thankfully we came across some very friendly locals who showed us the right way and also let us borrow chargers to charge our phones so we could get in contact with the owner of the apartment.
Next morning we got ready and got on the metro to go the Sistine Chapel and Vatican museum. It was crazy busy which I think took a lot away for me in the Sistine Chapel. Places like that to me should be quiet not bustling. Afterwards we made our way to a McDonalds and realised we were running out of time and had to get back to the train station pronto. This lead to the disastrous journey back home. The ticket machines at the station were not working, we missed the train to the airport so we jumped in a taxi at rush hour IN ROME! We missed the flight home. Hahahahha. That was fun. We did finally manage to make it back home.
So. My trip to Italy was eventful and jam-packed. I really would love to go back. Spend a bit longer so I could really appreciate what Rome has to offer as I didn't get to see everything that I wanted to and even maybe see other parts of the country.
So. My trip to Italy was eventful and jam-packed. I really would love to go back. Spend a bit longer so I could really appreciate what Rome has to offer as I didn't get to see everything that I wanted to and even maybe see other parts of the country.
Have you ever been to Rome? Would you like to go to Rome? Or is there anywhere you wish you could return to?
Thanks for reading.
Over the past couple of days I have been binge watching a new show on Netflix called Dark Tourist which is an 8 episode documentary series which follows New Zealand journalist David Farrier travelling to various parts of the world. Only his journey is searching for the macabre and possibly the tad creepy parts of society or you know parts of the world that we aren't quite as familiar with. As someone who enjoys the likes of An Idiot Abroad and Louis Theroux documentaries this felt like a darker version of the two put together.
First of all, I did enjoy the show a great deal. I have an interest in the dark side of humanity, disasters and other cultures. Sometimes I think the host David is a tad stupid running off into dangerous, radioactive zones or speaking to the likes of Pablo Escobar's right hand man who killed hundreds of people. One minute you are shouting at him "what are you bloody doing? Stop!" and then you are also slightly wishing he would push it further. Sometimes when you are watching it from his perspective you do get a sense of his privilege and how he steps into the different worlds and cultures with this perspective. It could be regarded as problematic but it's a way for us to see different parts of the world that we wouldn't otherwise. I think it's interesting to see these other cultures and be willing to be open to understand their ways of life.
My other issue with the show is how it glosses over some information of the places or groups of people he speaks to but for entertainment it does all the right things. So, I definitely had my favourite episodes over this binging journey and I thought I would share them with you without giving too much away hopefully. Maybe you are interested in watching the show but maybe would like to decide what episodes to watch or you've watched it and share or disagree with some of my thoughts.
Japan
This was my ultimate favourite episode of the series. I enjoyed it so much. In this episode David first travels to Fukushima which is an area in Japan that was badly impacted by the earthquake and tsunami of 2011. This caused a nuclear disaster in one of the plants in the area. So David and a group of dark tourists all travel to the radioactive area and at first it seems ok. They all have their own scales to measure the radioactivity. However the further they go to the no go zone the higher their readings became. David also runs off behind the barriers and runs into an abandoned arcade and got the tour group into a lot of trouble which was a bit stupid. He also visits a couple of other well known areas of Japan which is very interesting.
Europe
In this episode he visited an unusual museum in England and spoke on the phone to a very infamous British prisoner, went to a reenactment of the different wars and then Cyprus which is what I found most interesting in this episode. Cyprus is an island which is separated by Greece and Turkey. There is a part of the island which is completely shut off from everyone. I didn't know much about what happened in Cyprus and I'm still not entirely sure I know much more but it definitely was interesting to get a glance at this area. I feel like Europe should have had more than one episode as Europe is a large area with many countries. Perhaps we will get more in another series.
The Stans
The Stans
More radioactive areas in this episode. I guess that's one of my weird interests as I am intrigued by the likes of Chernobyl and the previous episode of Japan. Here David visits the part of the world known as the Stans. He visits The Polygon in Kazakhstan which is a location that the Soviet Union during the Cold War tested their nuclear weapons.They also go take a little dip in a radioactive lake created by a nuclear blast. Not exactly on my bucketlist to be honest. Later on they visit children who have been impacted by the testing and use of nuclear weapons which really puts it into perspective for them and the audience. It is rather horrific how weapons used years ago are still having such an impact on those living there.
Here are some of David's favourite spots that he visited on his Dark Tourist series.
Here are some of David's favourite spots that he visited on his Dark Tourist series.
Have you seen the show? What did you think? Or do you plan on watching it at some point?
Within our society it's not exactly unusual for us ladies to be pitted against each other that makes us see each other as competition and that is what I want to have a wee chat about today. It might be a bit of a ramble of a post. I apologise in advance.
Of course this can't be generalised across the whole world and we all don't see each other as competition and behave negatively on the matter but it sure does still happen. I think it's normal to compare ourselves to each other and it's understandable if someone's success, looks or life can make you question your worth or value. It's how you respond to that which matters though. You can still be happy for the other person (unless that person has done questionable things) because bitterness honestly doesn't get you anywhere. I definitely have felt that before but I will never tear down another person just because they are succeeding or happy in life. If someone is doing well I always find it better to be happy for them and use it as motivation. It can spark something inside you in a good way. Sometimes that's easier said that done though when your brain makes you think otherwise.
My Experiences
When it comes to other females or people in general I will support you to the moon and back. Got an exam coming up? I want you to pass and will celebrate with you when you do. Got a new job? Fantastic. New boyfriend? I hope he treats you like a queen. Support and happiness is not always something I have received from friends. I'm not asking to have the champagne brought out but a little comment of support goes a long way. Recently I received more support and love from people on social media who I've never met over someone who banged on being such a good friend. That is hurtful. People who are quite happy to watch you fail are not your friends. People who can't wait for things to go tits up for you are not your friends. I honestly don't understand people who have this perspective. I remember winning an amazing competition and all my "friend" could do was complain how certain people win and don't win this monthly competition and how it's not fair however did not take an interest in it beforehand. It made me feel like "how dare I win something" and somewhat guilty when there was no need to be. Nor did I get a comment of support from getting my BA in Society, Politics and Policy. Again that was a bit hurtful. Anything that was going good in my life she would either dismiss it or turn it into a negative. Am I being harsh? Was there more going on there? Maybe. But no one should be made to feel bad for succeeding. Communication in a healthy way is always key though. If something isn't going well for myself I'll talk about it without placing blame or bitterness on the other person.
Honestly though, I'm not a threat to anyone nor anyone's competition. Life is hard enough without adding extra stress and competition between groups of people unnecessarily. I've never been interested in saying horrible things about other people whether they are doing better than me or not. When a women succeeds she's done a lot of work or very lucky and we should champion that. Women of ethnic minorities also find it 100x harder than us and we should be championing all women of all backgrounds.
The blogging world or community can also have a competitive streak and again I'm not anyone's competition when it comes to blogging. When you see other bloggers doing amazingly you do sometimes compare yourself to others. It's only natural but remember that they are doing them, they've worked hard. Blogging is not easy and takes up a lot of time and sometimes we should be a little less harsh on ourselves. We can push ourselves and sometimes it can be stressful but it can also be worth it. Healthy competition is great and healthy when someone's success can spur you on and even with yourself when you want to improve on yourself but to be nasty or negative towards others in the name of competition is unnecessary.
So yeah, a wee thought piece here. What do you think? Have you ever experienced this?
Thanks for reading.
As it's the 70th birthday of the NHS I thought I would do a post of something health related where the NHS has been such a massive help. The NHS is an amazing thing that we have here across the UK and it is so underappreciated and so underfunded but it has my appreciation and I'm sure many other's too. It was them who helped me into this world when my mum needed blood for her c-section, it's them that have helped me throughout my life with little things, my psoriasis and most recently whatever the hell is going on with me now. So thank you NHS and Happy 70th!!
So now onto recent events. A couple of weeks ago I had to go for a colonoscopy. The joys eh? Beforehand I read up as much as I could about it by reading other people's blog posts and I just wanted to know what to expect. Everyone though has such a different experience. Some people don't feel anything and some people do but the most reoccurring statement was that the prep was the worst. So I went into it believing that the prep would be the worst part. Just a bit of warning here... this might get gross.
So now onto recent events. A couple of weeks ago I had to go for a colonoscopy. The joys eh? Beforehand I read up as much as I could about it by reading other people's blog posts and I just wanted to know what to expect. Everyone though has such a different experience. Some people don't feel anything and some people do but the most reoccurring statement was that the prep was the worst. So I went into it believing that the prep would be the worst part. Just a bit of warning here... this might get gross.
The Prep
So I got my letter less than a week before the procedure and I was a little freaked out. The Klean-prep was sent with the letter and I did a little investigation to see other people's experiences of this were. I was not comforted in the slightest. It's safe to say it was an awful day. The prep had this vanilla taste to it but it was just very salty. If you've ever had Andrews salts it's a bit like that but 10 times worse. You have to drink about 4 litres (what the hell?) of this in one day so that it cleans out your bowels. It worked a tad quickly for me. About 15 minutes after taking the first mouthfuls. I had to make sure that my mum knew I would need absolute access to the toilet because trust me that part is not pretty at all. It was like pissing out of the wrong bit after the first 2 litres. I did really struggle and threw up all over myself a couple of times (this was a bit of a pain in the arse) but I found a technique that started to work. So if you ever have to do this you can give it a try. First, have some Sprite or 7Up. Get a straw and hold your nose as you drink the prep, keep holding your nose and drink the Sprite or 7Up and it kind of tricks your mouth that you were drinking that the whole time. You're also not allowed to eat the entire time and I was bloody starving and as I had to stay near a toilet I was pretty much in front of the telly the whole day. Food adverts everywhere... so I suggest maybe some dvds to escape that torture.
The Procedure
So... after reading people's experiences I wasn't too worried about the procedure, I was just looking forward to getting something to eat afterwards. I was taken into the ward and had the loveliest nurse attending to me. Got changed into my gown and I was allowed to keep my bra on which is somewhat good because those gowns are pretty uncomfortable. The nurse wheeled me into the room fairly quickly and all the other nurses and staff were so lovely and they made sure everything was as dignified and professional as possible. It was going fine until the scope was going through my intestines like a jaggy piece of rope. Part of me thinks that I may not have been sedated enough and I should have said something as it was very painful, especially when it was going round the bends and twists. Once it was over though I was just relieved. I was praised on my prep as I managed the majority of it which meant they got a good clear view. If you're not squeamish you can watch on the screen next to you which is kind of cool. Getting to see the inside of your own body. Pretty cool.
Afterwards
Once I was back in the ward I was allowed to get dressed back into my clothes and then have something to eat and a cup of tea. My dad was then allowed in whilst we waited for the doctor to come and have a little word with us and then I was allowed to go home. I thought I would be eager to eat something but all I really wanted to do was go home and have a lie down. I also again didn't want to be anywhere far from a toilet even though there is nothing there after the prep it is just air but it's best to let that air go in the privacy of a bathroom or at home. I did eventually get some food and I savoured every single bite.
I was still a bit sore for a couple of days afterwards and was getting pain in the parts where the scope hurt me and when I did eat I was not slow in having to run to the toilet. It did just take a couple of days for my stomach and bowels to settle.
I had my results and they are clear. Which is not massively comforting as I still don't know what is going on. So being given medication for a month and if that doesn't help it's back to the doctors. Woohoo.
Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Are you going for one? If you need some advice or just want to chat let me know. Thanks for reading :)
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Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Are you going for one? If you need some advice or just want to chat let me know. Thanks for reading :)
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Today I want to talk about long distance friendships. I'm sure bloggers and loads of people really can totally understand having friends who live so far away and know how hard it is and how much you end up missing them and having them around. My experience is my best friend of 13 years and hopefully loads of years more.
My Best Friend
In 2006 my best friend from high school moved to New Zealand, which is the other side of the bloody world by the way. We had only been besties for a year when she moved but I'm glad we became the best of friends when we had. I'd be missing out on so much if we hadn't. I wouldn't have such a caring, understanding and patient friend that I do. We've stayed close and the distance is just a little obstacle.
Communication
Communication is key in any friendship or relationship. When my bestie first moved it was MSN that helped us to keep in contact. I miss MSN haha. We would always send each other presents for Christmas and birthdays. Now it's Facebook Messenger that helps us to communicate. It's not as good but it will do. Even though we may not speak to each other every single day or sometimes it can be quite a while but we have the patience to understand that we do live at the other side of the world, there is the time difference and we have things going on in our lives that we are not always online to talk. This is why I love her to be honest. She understands and doesn't have a bad bone in her body and I always take the time to understand her.
Visiting
As she lives at the other side of the world visiting is extremely difficult. It's a long trip, it's expensive and it's rather brutal from my experience. My bestie has been back a few times as she still has family here and it's still her home in a way and I always look forward to when she does come back. When we are around each other it's as if she never went away and I always enjoy her company whether it's going to do some touristy things or just staying in and binge watching shows. I've also travelled to visit her and my second family. It was a trip that was quite scary especially as it was the first time I've been out of Scotland on my own but it was totally worth it to spend a month with my other family and I would love to do it again if I can save up the money.
Thoughts
I do honestly miss her most of the time and when I'm watching shows like Supernatural, The Flash or Outlander I sometimes think about the times we'd be sitting binge-watching something and just having a good time. It's hard as you want to be there for your friend as much as possible but it's difficult when you can't be. Or when you wish you could talk to them. It's all about having the patience, compassion and being supportive that helps a long distance friendship to keep going. I'm super glad that the distance hasn't made too much of a difference or that it was too much of an obstacle for us. I've had friends who have moved away, not even that far too and the friendship just fizzled so when you have a friendship like this it's definitely a positive thing.
Do you have any long distance friendships? Let me know about your friendships and what you guys do to stop the friendship from burning out?
Thanks for reading! :)
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