Within our society it's not exactly unusual for us ladies to be pitted against each other that makes us see each other as competition and that is what I want to have a wee chat about today. It might be a bit of a ramble of a post. I apologise in advance.
Of course this can't be generalised across the whole world and we all don't see each other as competition and behave negatively on the matter but it sure does still happen. I think it's normal to compare ourselves to each other and it's understandable if someone's success, looks or life can make you question your worth or value. It's how you respond to that which matters though. You can still be happy for the other person (unless that person has done questionable things) because bitterness honestly doesn't get you anywhere. I definitely have felt that before but I will never tear down another person just because they are succeeding or happy in life. If someone is doing well I always find it better to be happy for them and use it as motivation. It can spark something inside you in a good way. Sometimes that's easier said that done though when your brain makes you think otherwise.
My Experiences
When it comes to other females or people in general I will support you to the moon and back. Got an exam coming up? I want you to pass and will celebrate with you when you do. Got a new job? Fantastic. New boyfriend? I hope he treats you like a queen. Support and happiness is not always something I have received from friends. I'm not asking to have the champagne brought out but a little comment of support goes a long way. Recently I received more support and love from people on social media who I've never met over someone who banged on being such a good friend. That is hurtful. People who are quite happy to watch you fail are not your friends. People who can't wait for things to go tits up for you are not your friends. I honestly don't understand people who have this perspective. I remember winning an amazing competition and all my "friend" could do was complain how certain people win and don't win this monthly competition and how it's not fair however did not take an interest in it beforehand. It made me feel like "how dare I win something" and somewhat guilty when there was no need to be. Nor did I get a comment of support from getting my BA in Society, Politics and Policy. Again that was a bit hurtful. Anything that was going good in my life she would either dismiss it or turn it into a negative. Am I being harsh? Was there more going on there? Maybe. But no one should be made to feel bad for succeeding. Communication in a healthy way is always key though. If something isn't going well for myself I'll talk about it without placing blame or bitterness on the other person.
Honestly though, I'm not a threat to anyone nor anyone's competition. Life is hard enough without adding extra stress and competition between groups of people unnecessarily. I've never been interested in saying horrible things about other people whether they are doing better than me or not. When a women succeeds she's done a lot of work or very lucky and we should champion that. Women of ethnic minorities also find it 100x harder than us and we should be championing all women of all backgrounds.
The blogging world or community can also have a competitive streak and again I'm not anyone's competition when it comes to blogging. When you see other bloggers doing amazingly you do sometimes compare yourself to others. It's only natural but remember that they are doing them, they've worked hard. Blogging is not easy and takes up a lot of time and sometimes we should be a little less harsh on ourselves. We can push ourselves and sometimes it can be stressful but it can also be worth it. Healthy competition is great and healthy when someone's success can spur you on and even with yourself when you want to improve on yourself but to be nasty or negative towards others in the name of competition is unnecessary.
So yeah, a wee thought piece here. What do you think? Have you ever experienced this?
Thanks for reading.
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