Within our society it's not exactly unusual for us ladies to be pitted against each other that makes us see each other as competition and that is what I want to have a wee chat about today. It might be a bit of a ramble of a post. I apologise in advance.
Of course this can't be generalised across the whole world and we all don't see each other as competition and behave negatively on the matter but it sure does still happen. I think it's normal to compare ourselves to each other and it's understandable if someone's success, looks or life can make you question your worth or value. It's how you respond to that which matters though. You can still be happy for the other person (unless that person has done questionable things) because bitterness honestly doesn't get you anywhere. I definitely have felt that before but I will never tear down another person just because they are succeeding or happy in life. If someone is doing well I always find it better to be happy for them and use it as motivation. It can spark something inside you in a good way. Sometimes that's easier said that done though when your brain makes you think otherwise.
My Experiences
When it comes to other females or people in general I will support you to the moon and back. Got an exam coming up? I want you to pass and will celebrate with you when you do. Got a new job? Fantastic. New boyfriend? I hope he treats you like a queen. Support and happiness is not always something I have received from friends. I'm not asking to have the champagne brought out but a little comment of support goes a long way. Recently I received more support and love from people on social media who I've never met over someone who banged on being such a good friend. That is hurtful. People who are quite happy to watch you fail are not your friends. People who can't wait for things to go tits up for you are not your friends. I honestly don't understand people who have this perspective. I remember winning an amazing competition and all my "friend" could do was complain how certain people win and don't win this monthly competition and how it's not fair however did not take an interest in it beforehand. It made me feel like "how dare I win something" and somewhat guilty when there was no need to be. Nor did I get a comment of support from getting my BA in Society, Politics and Policy. Again that was a bit hurtful. Anything that was going good in my life she would either dismiss it or turn it into a negative. Am I being harsh? Was there more going on there? Maybe. But no one should be made to feel bad for succeeding. Communication in a healthy way is always key though. If something isn't going well for myself I'll talk about it without placing blame or bitterness on the other person.
Honestly though, I'm not a threat to anyone nor anyone's competition. Life is hard enough without adding extra stress and competition between groups of people unnecessarily. I've never been interested in saying horrible things about other people whether they are doing better than me or not. When a women succeeds she's done a lot of work or very lucky and we should champion that. Women of ethnic minorities also find it 100x harder than us and we should be championing all women of all backgrounds.
The blogging world or community can also have a competitive streak and again I'm not anyone's competition when it comes to blogging. When you see other bloggers doing amazingly you do sometimes compare yourself to others. It's only natural but remember that they are doing them, they've worked hard. Blogging is not easy and takes up a lot of time and sometimes we should be a little less harsh on ourselves. We can push ourselves and sometimes it can be stressful but it can also be worth it. Healthy competition is great and healthy when someone's success can spur you on and even with yourself when you want to improve on yourself but to be nasty or negative towards others in the name of competition is unnecessary.
So yeah, a wee thought piece here. What do you think? Have you ever experienced this?
Thanks for reading.
As it's the 70th birthday of the NHS I thought I would do a post of something health related where the NHS has been such a massive help. The NHS is an amazing thing that we have here across the UK and it is so underappreciated and so underfunded but it has my appreciation and I'm sure many other's too. It was them who helped me into this world when my mum needed blood for her c-section, it's them that have helped me throughout my life with little things, my psoriasis and most recently whatever the hell is going on with me now. So thank you NHS and Happy 70th!!
So now onto recent events. A couple of weeks ago I had to go for a colonoscopy. The joys eh? Beforehand I read up as much as I could about it by reading other people's blog posts and I just wanted to know what to expect. Everyone though has such a different experience. Some people don't feel anything and some people do but the most reoccurring statement was that the prep was the worst. So I went into it believing that the prep would be the worst part. Just a bit of warning here... this might get gross.
So now onto recent events. A couple of weeks ago I had to go for a colonoscopy. The joys eh? Beforehand I read up as much as I could about it by reading other people's blog posts and I just wanted to know what to expect. Everyone though has such a different experience. Some people don't feel anything and some people do but the most reoccurring statement was that the prep was the worst. So I went into it believing that the prep would be the worst part. Just a bit of warning here... this might get gross.
The Prep
So I got my letter less than a week before the procedure and I was a little freaked out. The Klean-prep was sent with the letter and I did a little investigation to see other people's experiences of this were. I was not comforted in the slightest. It's safe to say it was an awful day. The prep had this vanilla taste to it but it was just very salty. If you've ever had Andrews salts it's a bit like that but 10 times worse. You have to drink about 4 litres (what the hell?) of this in one day so that it cleans out your bowels. It worked a tad quickly for me. About 15 minutes after taking the first mouthfuls. I had to make sure that my mum knew I would need absolute access to the toilet because trust me that part is not pretty at all. It was like pissing out of the wrong bit after the first 2 litres. I did really struggle and threw up all over myself a couple of times (this was a bit of a pain in the arse) but I found a technique that started to work. So if you ever have to do this you can give it a try. First, have some Sprite or 7Up. Get a straw and hold your nose as you drink the prep, keep holding your nose and drink the Sprite or 7Up and it kind of tricks your mouth that you were drinking that the whole time. You're also not allowed to eat the entire time and I was bloody starving and as I had to stay near a toilet I was pretty much in front of the telly the whole day. Food adverts everywhere... so I suggest maybe some dvds to escape that torture.
The Procedure
So... after reading people's experiences I wasn't too worried about the procedure, I was just looking forward to getting something to eat afterwards. I was taken into the ward and had the loveliest nurse attending to me. Got changed into my gown and I was allowed to keep my bra on which is somewhat good because those gowns are pretty uncomfortable. The nurse wheeled me into the room fairly quickly and all the other nurses and staff were so lovely and they made sure everything was as dignified and professional as possible. It was going fine until the scope was going through my intestines like a jaggy piece of rope. Part of me thinks that I may not have been sedated enough and I should have said something as it was very painful, especially when it was going round the bends and twists. Once it was over though I was just relieved. I was praised on my prep as I managed the majority of it which meant they got a good clear view. If you're not squeamish you can watch on the screen next to you which is kind of cool. Getting to see the inside of your own body. Pretty cool.
Afterwards
Once I was back in the ward I was allowed to get dressed back into my clothes and then have something to eat and a cup of tea. My dad was then allowed in whilst we waited for the doctor to come and have a little word with us and then I was allowed to go home. I thought I would be eager to eat something but all I really wanted to do was go home and have a lie down. I also again didn't want to be anywhere far from a toilet even though there is nothing there after the prep it is just air but it's best to let that air go in the privacy of a bathroom or at home. I did eventually get some food and I savoured every single bite.
I was still a bit sore for a couple of days afterwards and was getting pain in the parts where the scope hurt me and when I did eat I was not slow in having to run to the toilet. It did just take a couple of days for my stomach and bowels to settle.
I had my results and they are clear. Which is not massively comforting as I still don't know what is going on. So being given medication for a month and if that doesn't help it's back to the doctors. Woohoo.
Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Are you going for one? If you need some advice or just want to chat let me know. Thanks for reading :)
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Have you ever had a colonoscopy? Are you going for one? If you need some advice or just want to chat let me know. Thanks for reading :)
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Today I want to talk about long distance friendships. I'm sure bloggers and loads of people really can totally understand having friends who live so far away and know how hard it is and how much you end up missing them and having them around. My experience is my best friend of 13 years and hopefully loads of years more.
My Best Friend
In 2006 my best friend from high school moved to New Zealand, which is the other side of the bloody world by the way. We had only been besties for a year when she moved but I'm glad we became the best of friends when we had. I'd be missing out on so much if we hadn't. I wouldn't have such a caring, understanding and patient friend that I do. We've stayed close and the distance is just a little obstacle.
Communication
Communication is key in any friendship or relationship. When my bestie first moved it was MSN that helped us to keep in contact. I miss MSN haha. We would always send each other presents for Christmas and birthdays. Now it's Facebook Messenger that helps us to communicate. It's not as good but it will do. Even though we may not speak to each other every single day or sometimes it can be quite a while but we have the patience to understand that we do live at the other side of the world, there is the time difference and we have things going on in our lives that we are not always online to talk. This is why I love her to be honest. She understands and doesn't have a bad bone in her body and I always take the time to understand her.
Visiting
As she lives at the other side of the world visiting is extremely difficult. It's a long trip, it's expensive and it's rather brutal from my experience. My bestie has been back a few times as she still has family here and it's still her home in a way and I always look forward to when she does come back. When we are around each other it's as if she never went away and I always enjoy her company whether it's going to do some touristy things or just staying in and binge watching shows. I've also travelled to visit her and my second family. It was a trip that was quite scary especially as it was the first time I've been out of Scotland on my own but it was totally worth it to spend a month with my other family and I would love to do it again if I can save up the money.
Thoughts
I do honestly miss her most of the time and when I'm watching shows like Supernatural, The Flash or Outlander I sometimes think about the times we'd be sitting binge-watching something and just having a good time. It's hard as you want to be there for your friend as much as possible but it's difficult when you can't be. Or when you wish you could talk to them. It's all about having the patience, compassion and being supportive that helps a long distance friendship to keep going. I'm super glad that the distance hasn't made too much of a difference or that it was too much of an obstacle for us. I've had friends who have moved away, not even that far too and the friendship just fizzled so when you have a friendship like this it's definitely a positive thing.
Do you have any long distance friendships? Let me know about your friendships and what you guys do to stop the friendship from burning out?
Thanks for reading! :)
Hey everyone, so again I haven't been posting as much as I wanted to when uni ended. My body has had other things in store for me unfortunately. The last blog post I had done was actually the night I ended up in A&E. I thought I would let you in on what has been happening though. Little warning that there may be some TMI going on here. Few trigger warnings may be warranted such as hospitals and eating disorders.
The Night I Went To A&E
Back in mid April I had been getting some really awful pain in my side/stomach/back. It then got steadily worse with bleeding when I went to the toilet. Fun right? My boyfriend was convincing me to go to hospital or at least phone NHS24. I'm pretty damn stubborn and refused. The day I phoned my GP to get an appointment but couldn't because there were none left was the night he didn't give me a choice and drove me to Glasgow Royal Infirmary as I was hunched over in absolute agony. With the symptoms I was describing they decided to check for a kidney stone which was hilarious as Chris was one week away from surgery to remove a kidney stone and we thought it was too much of a coincidence. I was taken for an x-ray and given some strong painkillers. After a while the doctor came to see how I was doing. Which was not good. I was still in agony and with the x-ray showing some kind of shadow but they weren't sure what it was so the doctor decided to admit me. Apparently I looked at Chris the way a puppy looks when they find out what the vet is for the first time when I got told I was going to be staying in. I was not happy.
Staying In Hospital
I got taken up to a transit ward to wait for my CT scan which was supposed to be that morning. Turned out only one scanner was working that day so I waited all day to be told it would be the following morning before I got my scan. I was first on the list at 9am though which was a bit of a relief. I was transferred to another receiving ward for the second night. I have never had to stay in hospital before so it was definitely strange. I was also lucky that Chris was off work so he was able to stay with me most of the time. I didn't get much sleep at all which resulted in a headache just to add to everything else. I got my CT scan and few hours later the doctor came round and told me that it was not a kidney stone but my colon wall was inflamed which may be a sign of ulcerative colitis and that they would allow me to go home and have a follow up appointment a month later if my symptoms persisted. I went back to Chris's that night and was going to have something to eat and go for a shower but as soon as my body got onto the bed I passed out for some much needed sleep.
How I'm Doing Now
So... my symptoms have not just persisted but I think they are getting worse. Over the last few weeks I've been hoping my outpatient appointment was sooner or tempted to go back to A&E. My appointment is on Tuesday though so it's not far away now. I was told that I may have to go for a colonoscopy which is looking rather likely now. I've been reading up on some things about ulcerative colitis and inflammatory bowel disease (IBD) and colonoscopies. I know that it seems pretty horrific but having an answer to the pain is better than not knowing. The medications I was given are not really helping either. I become extremely tired very quickly. After being out for an hour I'm ready for collapsing in a heap somewhere. Another issue is eating as the pain increases a lot after eating food and I'm starting to fear eating which is not great. It's also very frustrating anticipating the pain and not being able to do as much as I could do.
Starting A Diary
As food is a huge trigger for the pain I decided to keep a diary of what I eat, my toilet habits and the scale of my pain. So far I haven't found much of a pattern that causes the pain as it's everything that I eat which causes pain. Almost every time I eat something I feel like my body hates me and attacks itself. It's pretty horrible. I've definitely been sticking to soup a lot. Especially the Scotch Broth from the Scottish Soup Co. Bleeding when going to the toilet is also a moment that kind of freaks you out. So yeah, things are a tad grim at the moment.
Good News Though
There are some good things however. I got my results from uni and I passed everything. Including the exam which I was 90% sure I had failed which is a major relief. This means that I now technically have a degree but I am going to continue to get my Honours. Hopefully the health stuff will behave itself. The boyfriend and I are also a couple of more stops closer to buying our own place which is exciting and I'm going to see Wicked at the weekend in Edinburgh. So some positive things to reflect on.
Hopefully there will be answers to what is going on with me soon and can be resolved or at least managed. It has been a pretty few awful weeks recently. Thank you for reading though.
It's been a while since I made a post. Mainly because I have been so busy with uni work and I had my mum's birthday and then my own. Few months ago I blogged about my first semester coming to an end which you can read here. I thought I would do the same for my second semester coming to an end.
Essays and Exams
This semester has been a bit different structurally. We had a group assessment for our Research class which we done really well in. I was absolutely surprised by our mark because we never really met up at all but I'm so happy it turned out the way it did especially with the lack of communication. Working in groups can be a bit frustrating at times. That brings me onto my Western Culture in Crisis module. Oh boy. Every two weeks in our allocated groups we have to write an essay and the best 4 out of 5 is worth 30% of that module mark. Frustrating because groups! So far we've been getting decent marks and feedback though. We also have an individual essay which isn't too bad. I also had to sit one of the exams that I missed last semester from being ill. Yay!
Research Proposal
Ohemgee! This has been causing quite a bit of stress lately. I'm required to do a research proposal which is graded and this then goes towards our dissertation in our Honours year. I knew for a while I wanted to focus on gender and media but was finding it so hard to narrow it down. Eventually though I came up with something I thought I would really enjoy. It's going to be a survey and I'm quite looking forward to actually getting to the carrying out the research part and doing the dissertation. The research proposal was definitely hard to get done though.
Travelling
I'm never not going to hate it. Buses are the bane of my life. This semester the train however has been super quiet especially in the last few weeks so that's been somewhat nice. Chris has also given me lifts a few times too which is a much nicer and less tiring form of transport.
Psoriasis
My psoriasis and my skin in general especially on my face was taking a huge turn for the worst at the start. It was really painful and just making me lose a crap-load of self-esteem. The last couple of weeks however I've been trying to be strict with my skincare routine and it seems to be calming down. Fingers crossed it continues to. One reason I'm looking forward to some sunny weather as that always helps.
The Course
I think I knew I was never going to love this course. It was my last resort option. I wanted to do Sociology and Criminology so this is not exactly similar. I can't say that I have enjoyed it. Bits of it have been good and I've engaged with some of the topics but overall... nah. The fact that classes are now over for third year (my first because I got third year entry) makes me so happy. Classes and all my stuff are finished for now (unless I failed that exam) so I'm quite happy. Also being able to actually get to the end is something that I am proud of. I didn't think I was capable or cut out for uni but I can and I am. Even if I've not been enjoying it and it's not been the most positive of times for me the determination took control and let me get done what I needed to.
I'm free for a few months at least. Summer is nearly here and I feel like I can finally breathe and relax. I love learning new things but being a student has tired me out these past few months. I'm ready to sleep for a month... maybe two months. Then in September I'll need to do it all again.
How has university been for you ? Is it what you expected? Do you enjoy your course? Let me know.
So I came across Nikkipedia's blog post '90's Tag' and I just thought I totally have to get involved in this one. Go check it out. :)
I was born in 1990 so I definitely spent most of my childhood in the 90's so yes I qualify as a 90's kid thank you very much. I definitely think I'll enjoy filling this one out as I'm wearing my Chuckie (Rugrats) socks on.
Favourite TV Show
I absolutely loved coming home from school and sticking Nickelodeon on. I had so many favourites but probably Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Rugrats. Oh, and Saved by the Bell and Are You Afraid of the Dark?
I absolutely loved coming home from school and sticking Nickelodeon on. I had so many favourites but probably Sabrina the Teenage Witch and Rugrats. Oh, and Saved by the Bell and Are You Afraid of the Dark?
Favourite 90’s song
C'Est La Vie by B*Witched and If Ya Gettin Down by 5ive
Favourite Commercial/Advertisement
I actually don't know. I need to be like reminded of the adverts from back then. Only one that springs to mind is the Coco Pops! "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops".
I actually don't know. I need to be like reminded of the adverts from back then. Only one that springs to mind is the Coco Pops! "I'd rather have a bowl of Coco Pops".
NSYNC or Backstreet Boys
Hmmmm. I wasn't actually a massive fan of either of them, I liked a few songs from each but I'd probably pick Backstreet Boys. Backstreet's back ALRIGHT!
Hmmmm. I wasn't actually a massive fan of either of them, I liked a few songs from each but I'd probably pick Backstreet Boys. Backstreet's back ALRIGHT!
Favourite Music Artist
Steps, Spice Girls and 5ive.
Steps, Spice Girls and 5ive.
Did you collect anything back then and what did you collect?
Definitely. Does Barbies count? I did collect Beanie Babies though and I'm sure I still have them all somewhere. And pens. Which I guess is still something I do.
Definitely. Does Barbies count? I did collect Beanie Babies though and I'm sure I still have them all somewhere. And pens. Which I guess is still something I do.
How many Tamagotchi’s did you go through?
Maybe about 5 or 6 haha. I did have my favourite one though which was the first one I got.
Maybe about 5 or 6 haha. I did have my favourite one though which was the first one I got.
Favourite Video Game & Console?
I got to play the SEGA for a bit but my console was the SNES. Like I want that mini one that's currently out and is pre-loaded with a bunch of games. Yoshi's Island was amazing, Toy Story and Donkey Kong Country.
I got to play the SEGA for a bit but my console was the SNES. Like I want that mini one that's currently out and is pre-loaded with a bunch of games. Yoshi's Island was amazing, Toy Story and Donkey Kong Country.
Favourite Cereal/Cereal Free Toy
It's a toss up between Coco Pops and Wheetos which I still eat to this day because they are amazing. I remember getting toys but I don't remember being all that fussed about them to be honest. I liked it when you sent away tokens and got bowls or something though.
It's a toss up between Coco Pops and Wheetos which I still eat to this day because they are amazing. I remember getting toys but I don't remember being all that fussed about them to be honest. I liked it when you sent away tokens and got bowls or something though.
Who was your 90’s Crush Growing Up?
Zach from Saved by the Bell, Leonardo Di'Caprio and one of the guys from 5ive. I've noticed that all my answers so far has like 3 answers haha. Oops. I just can't choose.
Zach from Saved by the Bell, Leonardo Di'Caprio and one of the guys from 5ive. I've noticed that all my answers so far has like 3 answers haha. Oops. I just can't choose.
What was your favourite Disney Channel movie?
I didn't really watch them.
I didn't really watch them.
Favourite Show? (Disney, Nick or Cartoon Network)
Nick. So Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Nick. So Sabrina the Teenage Witch.
Weirdest Fashion Trend
Those hairbands with our names on them. Gawd.
Those hairbands with our names on them. Gawd.
What were your favourite toys would you play with?
I had so many Barbies it was ridiculous. Had like a Barbie house and cars and everything to go with Barbies. I kind of loved creating a wee world for them and turning my whole room into their world and then I would have to spend forever tidying it all away. I spent less time actually giving them storylines (I did this with the Sims too in a way).
I had so many Barbies it was ridiculous. Had like a Barbie house and cars and everything to go with Barbies. I kind of loved creating a wee world for them and turning my whole room into their world and then I would have to spend forever tidying it all away. I spent less time actually giving them storylines (I did this with the Sims too in a way).
Disney, Nickelodeon or Cartoon Network?
Nickelodeon
What early morning/Weekend TV Shows would you watch?
Nickelodeon
What early morning/Weekend TV Shows would you watch?
SMTV: Live was my favourite. You would get Pokemon and Chums. Then after that I would watch The Tribe (some show from New Zealand that I loved) and then Dawson's Creek (which I was probably too young for at the time).
Favourite McDonald’s Happy Meal Toy
I remember they had brought out these little Beanie Baby toys and I made my mum take me to McDonald's so I could get them all. My favourite was the Koala bear one which I named KoochiKoo.
I remember they had brought out these little Beanie Baby toys and I made my mum take me to McDonald's so I could get them all. My favourite was the Koala bear one which I named KoochiKoo.
Favourite Book
Matilda and those Meg and Mog books. I didn't get into Harry Potter until 1999/2000.
Matilda and those Meg and Mog books. I didn't get into Harry Potter until 1999/2000.
What would you watch when you got home from school?
I'd sometimes watch stuff on ITV or BBC such as The Worst Witch and ZZZaap!! But then I'd watch stuff on Nickelodeon. If only we had the ability to record shows back then. I'd be set for days.
I'd sometimes watch stuff on ITV or BBC such as The Worst Witch and ZZZaap!! But then I'd watch stuff on Nickelodeon. If only we had the ability to record shows back then. I'd be set for days.
What was your favourite thing from the 90’s thats no longer available today?
There was these chocolate UFO shaped things that were filled with strawberry yoghurt. Think they were Dr Oetker. They were so bloody good and I miss them so damn much. I sometimes ask other people if they remember them and not many do.
There was these chocolate UFO shaped things that were filled with strawberry yoghurt. Think they were Dr Oetker. They were so bloody good and I miss them so damn much. I sometimes ask other people if they remember them and not many do.
Did you grow up in the 90's? What were your favourite things? I'd love to see your answers if you do the tag so link me to them if you do. Thanks for reading. I really enjoyed doing this post.
On Sunday the 4th March I went to see Imagine Dragons for a second time. On the morning of the gig I wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Here and for many parts of the UK we had experienced the Beast from the East. It was horrendous. Still is. Some stores are still struggling with stock and transport are still having issues with snow and flooding. I digress. The weather was putting me off.
It was probably one of the best gigs I have been to though. As I was with my mum we decided that sticking towards the back would be the best idea. It was. Turns out there was a mini stage set up for an acoustic set and they walked past us. I managed to get a couple of high fives from the guys and I think I was shaking for a good 10 minutes afterwards.
The acoustic set was probably one of my favourite bits of the gig. As always in Scotland they played 500 Miles by the Proclaimers and as always the crowd come to life.
I've posted a video below that I came across on YouTube. You'll see we're too eager to get to the "daadaadaadaa"
Another one of my favourite moments was when balloons were dropped from above during On Top of The World and it was just magical. I loved it. On Top of the World is one of those songs when they play it live you can't help but feel pretty happy.
Just a wee question... does anyone else go look up videos on YouTube from the gig they were at afterwards? There's something about reliving the moment.
I can't get over how good they sound live. They put on such a good show. Dan Reynolds (lead singer) also gave us an important message about mental health and I think I almost cried. About ending the stigma, we shouldn't be ashamed of having a therapist, that we should love and be compassionate more in a world that is so violent. He is definitely great at talking and spreading a message. Last time I went to see Imagine Dragons was a couple of days after the Paris attacks in 2015. He thanked us for still coming after such a scary thing and that we shouldn't be afraid. He always speaks from the heart.
It's safe to say these guys are my favourite and I will be seeing them everytime they come back to Scotland because I absolutely love them. Some of my other favourite songs from the set were It's Time, Start Over, Demons and Thunder.
The Setlist
I Don't Know Why
It's Time
Gold
Whatever It Takes
I'll Make It Up To You
Mouth of the River
Yesterday
Start Over
Demons
The Fall
Rise Up
On Top of the World
Bleeding Out (Acoustic)
I Bet My Life (Acoustic)
Warriors/Sucker For Pain (Acoustic)
I Would Walk 500 Miles (The Proclaimers cover)
Shots (Acoustic)
Thunder
Believer
Walking The Wire
Radioactive
The weather also became a nuisance at the end of the night when we waited for over an hour outside for a taxi to be told they had come to get us but couldn't find us so that was fun. Luckily I have an amazing boyfriend who came to pick us up.
I can't wait for the snow to bugger off.
Have you been to any gigs lately? Any gigs coming up? Next up I have Flight of the Conchords which I'm very much looking forward to. How has the Beast from the East been impacting you? It's definitely driving me crazy
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